Published on Aug 21, 2026
“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.”
This quote is attributed to Oscar Wilde, and an advertisement for antidandruff shampoo. There is no evidence to suggest who came up with this statement, however its meaning is extremely relevant to the topic. For many years I quoted this meme as a way of explaining the importance of first impressions and appearance especially when this is applied to day-to-day dealings with others in the workplace. The psychology of appearance has been well researched over the years. One of the most prolific writers on the subject was Desmond Morris. His book, The Naked Ape: A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal, published in 1967, is a seminal, bestselling 20-million-copy book that examines homo sapiens purely as a biological species. Morris highlighted the importance of first impressions and I always included some of his perceptions and observations in the management and leadership workshops that I delivered across the globe.
I still facilitate some of these workshops and whenever I do, I usually begin by asking the following question:
“What are the first things that humans and animals notice when they initially encounter another being?” For the purposes of this article, I will pose the question regarding human beings even though some of the factors are equally applicable to animals.
These are some of the answers. The first phenomena that most people notice when they initially meet up with another person are as follows:
1. Shape and size
2. Facial expressions, eyes and hair
3. Posture (when standing and when seated) gestures, movement and use of space (especially when entering a room)
4. Dress and grooming including clothes and shoes
5. Micro-expressions and micro-gestures
Shape and size
Let’s start with the first immediate impression that we make on others. Being 6’2” in height has always made me self-conscious in both positive and negative ways. Researchers tell us that tall people, especially men are always at an advantage because they tend to dominate their surroundings. By the same token, tall people can unknowingly intimidate others by virtue of their height and size. This goes back to our anthropological origins. One just has to look at footage of wild animals including male elephants, lions, wolves and more specifically primates including the male silverback gorilla to understand how their size enables them to gain dominance and control over others. When we first see the figure of a tall, large person, we may proceed cautiously however a lot depends on the next factor.
Facial expressions
These are made up of how our face projects our mood and even how we have been socialised. If a person projects a relaxed facial expression with a polite smile and non-intensive eye contact, the recipient instinctively identifies someone who is non-threatening and approachable. This harks back to some of the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques based on the ideas of Calibrate, Pace and Lead. The theory behind this suggests that the first thing that we do when we encounter another human being is to Calibrate the other person. This means that we “suss them out” to see whether the individual displays encouraging or uncomfortable signals. The natural instinct of most humans is to mirror the mood of the other individual by copying or reflecting back similar indicators. This is called Pacing in NLP terms. Pacing (reflecting back) is the social mechanism that begins to build trust between individuals, especially if it involves mirroring non-verbal behaviour that is friendly and positive. The human smile begins at birth and becomes a reflexive ritual between a mother and her newborn infant. The smile accompanied by cooing sounds and loving facial expressions including micro-expressions, signal emotional warmth to the young infant who in turn reflects back the same loving smile which activates the bond between a mother and her child.
Many years ago, before animal rights were protected, I read about a horrific experiment that was carried out with primates. The researchers severed the facial muscles of a female monkey so that she could not “smile” and show affection to her newborn baby. I remember seeing the rather horrific images of the deadpan look on the mother’s face. The response of the infant primate was to turn its head away from its mother in an effort to avoid seeing her face. However cruel and extreme, the experiment proved crucial: facial expressions and micro-expressions are part of the building blocks of relationships in both humans and animals.
Today modern technology and AI are using this information to create lifelike robots. This is called Anticipatory Expression: advanced AI models allow robots to anticipate human emotions. EMO, for instance, can predict a smile roughly 839 milliseconds before it occurs, allowing the robot to "co-express" simultaneously rather than just reacting.
The lessons learned from this research can be applied to the workplace especially when meeting a boss, a client or a new member of staff. Such first encounters should be accompanied by a relaxed and friendly facial expression, confident movement and gesture without hesitation or nervousness. One tip that I always remember learning and sharing is how to enter the office of a very high-powered autocratic boss. Rule number one is to enter the office confidently. If there is a chair in the room that is more than 3 feet away from the boss’s desk, one should greet the individual, smile, make eye contact and assertively move the chair forward so that the chair is no more than 3 feet away from the boss. At the same time, one should politely gesture and say: “May I?” And take your seat without waiting for the individual to reply.
Dress
Our clothes create a social and professional impact. They command respect especially if garments are well put together and not scruffy. This type of attire communicates professionalism, making others more likely to treat the wearer with respect and authority.
Nevertheless, there is also the issue of Contextual Appropriateness: dressing to suit the environment or occasion (e.g., business casual vs. formal). If you look too well dressed and come across as sophisticated or entitled, your appearance could provoke a negative reaction from individuals who see this as intimidating. Choosing suitable and appropriate attire definitely boosts our competence and authority. Most organizations are doing away with formal dress codes (suits and ties or business suits for women) however, wearing structured, more tailored attire without compromising on attractiveness, can improve our self-image and boost confidence allowing us to feel more competent, authoritative, and in control.
Choosing clothing that makes us “look good” increases Self-Worth which in turn reduces nervousness and anxiety especially when being asked to lead a meeting or deliver a presentation.
Physical and Visual Cues
Improved Posture and Gait: well-fitted, comfortable clothing allows for natural movement, leading to better posture, such as standing taller and walking with purpose. Interestingly, shoes and footwear are important. Shoes are frequently one of the first things people observe, often within the first few seconds of meeting, portraying a crucial marker of personality, self-image and orderliness vs scruffiness. Many people unconsciously scan from head to toe, with footwear providing a subconscious, instant imprint of a person's style or standard of maintenance.
Colours are also important and provide us with psychological response triggers. Red is associated with power and dominance, blue with stability and trust, and black with sophistication and authority.
Micro expressions and micro gestures
Micro expressions are transient, involuntary facial expressions that last for less than half a second and reveal true, concealed emotions. Unlike normal expressions, these rapid muscle movements occur when someone tries to suppress their feelings, providing a, "leakage" of genuine emotion. This is similar to certain upper body gestures such as: covering the mouth, scratching the nose or head, folding arms. These gestures are often unconscious reactions to psychological stress triggers - physical manifestation of the body's "fight-or-flight" response. When under stress, the body releases high levels of cortisol and other hormones causing blood to be distributed to the limbs (arm and legs) to run away from the physical threat or to physically attack the attacker even if the attack is not physical but psychological. Blood is drawn away from the brain and the face. In fair skinned people, this manifests itself as “blushing”. Blood is then driven down through the neck and into the arms and hands. Tiny capillaries fill with blood. These capillaries are attached to the fine hairs on the surface of the skin which produces what is known as the psychogenic itching. This creates a need for the person to scratch him/herself. The movement projects itself as a gesture of vulnerability or acute self-consciousness which provokes predatorial behaviour. This form of neuro-science forms the basis of how lie detectors work. Today many senior leaders and executives as well as politicians are trained on how to avoid this kind of “leaking” behaviour when under stress.
They are encouraged to control their hand movements while they deliver their messages or interact with an audience. They are discouraged from fidgeting with objects such as pens. The are made conscious of not unconsciously fiddling with their cell phones, or covering their mouths when faced with a difficult question or confrontational remarks. Executives, both male and female are encouraged to maintain relaxed, controlled posture and gesture and to be doubly conscious of what they are saying and doing when interactions become stressful.
The combination of all of these “appearance” factors as well as the use of language, pace, voice and rhythm of speech form a powerful toolkit to build poise, confidence, and self-assurance.