Podcast: New Episode Out Today!

Nicky Perfect, a former hostage and crisis negotiator, shares invaluable lessons on communication, negotiation, and building trust from her 31-year career in policing. Discover how these skills can be adapted for everyday life, leadership, and conflict management.

Key topics

  • The importance of understanding others' belief systems
  • How to influence rather than change people
  • The four modes of listening and their impact
  • Managing emotional and logical brain states
  • Building connection through empathy and validation
  • Lessons from international hostage negotiations
  • The role of silence and patience in negotiations
  • Reframing failure and success in challenging situations

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Nikki Perfect's Background

02:25 The Art of Negotiation and Its Everyday Applications

04:26 The Power of Passion and Storytelling in Communication

07:37 How a Conversation Changed Nikki’s Life

09:23 Transition from Policing to Negotiation

12:03 Key Lessons from Negotiation Training

16:47 Understanding Everyone Has a Story

19:18 Community Engagement During COVID

22:36 Influencing People, Not Changing Them

25:12 Beliefs Drive Behaviour and Reactions

32:02 The Impact of Perspective and Empathy

34:24 Managing Emotional Brain States

36:57 The Four Modes of Listening

47:55 The Power of Feeling Heard

55:44 Changing Perspectives on Success

58:09 The Future of Communication and AI

Published on Jul 13, 2026 by Ella Thomas